One shouldn't be afraid of needing help from another.  I have learned that dependence is actually a part of how things pretty much work...especially a dependence on Father.  One the difficulties I currently am finding myself in is in not wanting to receive any healing for wounds that I cannot heal on my own.  The concept or idea is in being in battle and receiving a wound.  I would rather perform the first aid, take care of what needs to be taken care of, and be more concerned about my comrades.  Or perhaps finishing anything that needs to be taken care of.  Heh, I'd imagine if I were one of those guys that lost a leg, I'd just ask for a bandage and see what I could do next...  Perhaps get to training on utilizing a prosthetic leg as soon as possible, let sleep be my rest.  This is just to give an idea as to this sort of mentality, by the way.

I am not sure the exact wisdom in that sort of attitude.  I have continually received aid and even been let known that I am receiving it, but when I realize it, at first, I would get the idea that I...must have gone wrong somewhere such that I am then in need of aid.  It doesn't seem a person should beat themselves up over getting beaten up in areas that they are not able to do much of anything else about...  Yet, even pondering what could have done better...such that one is not further in a weakened state in another instance where it may occur...  I am not totally sure about that mentality.  Seeking improvement and increasing the efficiency and effectiveness of one's capabilities is one thing...  I am not sure where exactly that line is drawn, though, because ... I am not totally sure when and if there need be certain limits placed here and there.  There is certainly a balance.

One should seek to improve.  One shouldn't be ashamed to receive help.  One shouldn't think themselves as evil, lacking, or wrong because of a wound they are inflicted with even though they had been trying their best the whole time.  By trying not to be "the weakest link," one may find themselves actually making themselves be that way.

It seems that when one thing is weeded out of the heart, either more things pop up, or the possibility for more weeds to grow emerges.  I am not sure whether the weeds were there to begin with, or that something more came about that is an unfortunate circumstance.  Something interesting that was read about a long while ago about chakras was that in sexual abstinence (please don't take this as encouragement to be promiscuous), an individual would be led towards perversions of their sexuality, including pedophilia.  This was written a bit before the whole Catholic child abuse problems all arose.  There are a whole bunch of teachings in this area, but...definitely depend on scripture for the focal points of wisdom.  I just did a bit of a search that helped to solidify the concept of what was already written, and then it also spoke about how certain acts are...able to be freely practiced without guilt.  Take that as you will, but to tell the truth, it's just wrong.

In any case, this makes me wonder just a bit...  If there is a part of a person that does seek or need some amount of entertainment.  Games, plays, movies, etc.  Not sure at all.  Yet, again, I feel that surge of pain because I am feeling like I am abstaining from something I shouldn't be.  What was interesting that I found was that when I seemed to abstain or try to control one part of myself, I started finding myself laughing at things that were actually a bit...obnoxious and not really funny to laugh at.  It was easier to laugh at the wrong things.  After coming to see that, it's not been such a problem...  Yet, I am now finding myself abstaining from...movies, games, entertainment of what may seem like all varieties.  It's not even that I want it, either.  I don't have almost any care for watching television, going and seeing plays or movies, listening to music or anything...and that's the strange part.  Yet, now here I see myself being tempted towards taking actions or doing futile things that aren't helpful to any degree, but may even be destructive.

There are some things that I am still really trying to understand, such as:

Ecclesiastes 7:16 -- Don't be excessively righteous, and don't be overly wise. Why should you destroy yourself?

If it is true that certain parts of a person do need to be helped or they risk becoming corrupted, kind of like fertile soil that isn't utilized to grow good things so that bad things can't find their way there, then we've got some serious issues.  If the way this world has been setup has been to take advantage of those parts of a person and only offer wrongful ways of satisfying them, or even creating half-truths that will partially satisfy but not fully, then that helps oneself to be much more ready to leave it all behind.  Yet, on the other hand, those of us in the physical realm currently in the state of being on the planet, just not of the world, will find ourselves in one of two situations.  The first is like what I am starting to experience, where the abstinence from even forms of entertainment create opportunities for corruption to surge and continuously provide inner conflict that...although can be survived, still isn't anything that is pleasant.  Conflict and war aren't things that should be a part of one's being to be healthy.  Then the other situation is where one does take that which may not totally be okay, and still utilizes it to help try to satisfy what is required in one's being to somehow survive.  Their life is not as difficult, to a degree, but...they are still poisoned because of it.  Poisoned if one does, poisoned if one doesn't.  That is truly sad.

This may be why there just simply isn't any true happiness on this planet, in this current world.  There just can't be with war and conflict and, and some degree, famine.

Another interesting observation is in the physical habits a person has.  Whether it be in tapping on things, clicking a pen while thinking, rubbing the chin, or maybe just a number of other things.  A person can't seemingly be comforted without that physical expression, and if that physical expression is resisted, the same thing as diminishing or holding back a desire occurs.  If it's a bad physical habit that one doesn't want, such as...well...perhaps that should just be thought of on one's own because that can vary widely from person to person, then simply resisting it isn't the answer, because it can just get worse, along with this piece of information:

Proverbs 13:12 -- Delayed hope makes the heart sick, but fulfilled desire is a tree of life.

Interesting.  Didn't consider that perhaps hope and desire are strongly interrelated in some way.  Hope's definition is interesting, in that some of the definitions utilize the word, "desire."  Hmm.

So, the price for purity, or even trying to maintain it to some degree is having a sick heart, and even the continual conflict one will find themselves in as corruption may continue to emerge because a desire is not being satisfied by anything that would truly and deeply satisfy it seven-fold.  Heh, in that way, the purity, in that sense, might not be a purity, because purity would also imply a lack of illness, or that which would impurify and create sickness.  Thus...again, purity couldn't be obtained via abstaining from the things that would actually truly and purely satisfy the desire.  Heh, this is...actually...almost making me laugh.  Madness, to a degree.  Then, at that, just simply...there cannot be any true happiness around the world because of this...madness.  To put this further, it is almost no wonder that a person would seek more and more after their desire was sort of indulged or satisfied to some degree, because anything the world provides to help satisfy a desire is never enough.  Kind of like being given partial appetizers but never anything that is truly filling.  Or totally healthful on all degrees.

So, if it is true that a person does need...entertainment, but the only entertainment out there is tainted by lies and half-truths, a person that needs entertainment is left in a bind of either being impure due to what they must engage in in order to not have such a sick heart, or to have a fully sick heart with the possibility of further corruption taking place, and/or just continually being in conflict because the corruption cannot possibly die off.  Unless...unless they do something horrifying, like...cutting out their own heart or accepting such numbing pain that might possibly defeat all their emotions and leave them scarred and almost catatonic and robot-like, feeling little, saying little, doing little.  The silly thing is...when I had played video games so much, just to satisfy that part of myself, I found myself blinded and gullible.  That being cut out and being more and fully focused towards Father, I find so much more time to not only reflect, but also the ability to reflect deeply.  And even being given the insight and more.  I'd rather have this, though.  I cannot imagine how much I'd really advise not submitting to worldly things to satisfy inner desires that cannot be helped.  Just to survive isn't the reason.

It is kind of an interesting thing that Christ had told us that anyone who doesn't take up their own cross and follow Christ is not worthy of Him.

Matthew 10:38 -- And whoever doesn't take up his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me.

It's not supposed to be a walk in the park.  I recall thinking that this meant that life isn't about survival, but about utilizing the life for something meaningful.  I don't know about anyone else, at all, but for what all that has been shown to me, my path does not lead in the survival and semi-satisfied desires just to be able to get by on a daily basis.  The path that I have been shown to walk is to deny all of the world's solutions to satisfy any desire that my heart has, and if that means that my heart must be sick for the time being, so be it.  Pure and true solutions to the desires will be found in their own time.  Daniel suffered three weeks in mourning till an angel from Father came to him with the understanding Daniel sought, as well as the comfort.  Time isn't of concern.  Father has been holding out on Her own pain for what seems like a little more than six thousand years, which can be like six days, or like...well...if one day can be like a thousand years to Father, then...365,000 years x 6 = 2, 190, 000 years.  That's quite a long time to hold the patience of the first sin.  Father is quite amazing in what She is capable of.  Hopefully by exercising the endurance and long suffering in the heart, maybe it'll get stronger.

Doing whatever a person can for whatever they can do, and leaving the rest to Father, does still seem like the best solution.  Just giving up and submitting to the pain that the heart feelings out of its sickness would be to surrender to despair, and that is not the Spirit Father has provided.  What's strange, though, is that the only motivation I have to satisfy any desire is only that I am not pained or heartsick from it.  I...actually do feel like I could live without entertainment and music for...any length of time that I am alive until I am told otherwise.  Of course, the pain in the heart could be like getting told otherwise.

It's interesting what I have been told about the human body not being able to survive in a sterile environment.

Also something else to note.  By allowing myself to be satisfied by solutions that the world provides, to any degree, I have only found myself wavering in my own walk towards Father.  I found wisdom much more difficult to come by, found myself almost seemingly drifting away from the very ministry I am dedicated to.  I know Father satisfies all desires, ... I shouldn't take the stance that the desires don't matter if Father doesn't satisfy them.  All in its time and place.  There truly just cannot be any compromise in my heart in my dedication to Father.  If corruption should arise, it will be quarantined and exterminated as it must be.  I don't totally understand some things, though.