Nothing is always as it seems. The heart is deceitful more than anything else. Desperately sick.

Earlier today, I just had two servings of dinner, large portions. After I was done, I still felt hungry. I also felt like something sweet or something. Yet, something wasn't quite right about that. I resisted the urge to eat jello, pastry, or other sweet things, much less any other food to fill my stomach. I already had enough, and to seek any more was overdoing it. After a while, instead of seeking what I thought I wanted or giving into that train of thought (as I had been taught in a harsh rebuke that doing so was wrong, to be thinking on fleshly things in such a manner), I resisted it all. Then, understanding came. My desire was actually for coffee with cream and sugar in it. My desire was for the energy the caffeine gave, with the sweetness of the coffee's additives. Well, at least, that was what my body was telling my head that I wanted: huge boost of energy + something sweet. This realization has also sparked the remembrance of having coffee at that hour a couple evenings, already, so the habit and pattern all make sense. Why this wasn't understood at first, though, I do not know. It took standing back, away from all the signals, and really holding off. In essence, I was following Father's Spirit. The understanding and revelation were gifts. It is strange, though, the signals the body gives to the mind, and what also is understood in the heart.

If the pattern here is body gives signals to brain, then the brain ponders these things in tangent and correlation with the heart, then that produces a many things depending on the responses of the heart with desires associated to thoughts and all the brain's processes, as well. Thankfully, Father is able to still make Her voice heard in my heart. I should do what I can to strain my ear to hear Her more clearly at all times. It also seems that it would help to pull out anything that would get in the way.

Strange how much certain denial of desire can hurt. No desire should be above Father's voice, ever.

Certain thoughts can, indeed, spark different feelings, and if one is not careful, their feelings can lead them astray. I have seen moments of a more healthy and totally pure heart. Only moments. Crumbs, yet, those crumbs are more wonderful than can be shared in words so simply. Those are pure moments with Father.

I had almost always considered my heart to be my enemy, but when I left that and considered it trustworthy, I then continued to fall apart, maybe worse. What seems to really be needed is Father's Spirit to more clearly see it and realize what is actually going on with it. And not to act on it, but on Father's inspiration, by Father's commands.

Bad habits should be dismantled before they cannot be controlled. Silent reflection in Father's Spirit will help determine what the habit's true nature is.

The account of Cain and Abel well describes the patterns between evil and good. [couldn't still find the right word...maybe pattern, maybe another word...like...how they interact...or how one does towards the other]

To be free many any negative influence, that is being free. Untainted purity.

Father always prepares Her flock.